Week 6: BREAKING NEWS!

Week 6: BREAKING NEWS!

Now, is it unfair that I don’t actually have any breaking news and that I just wrote that to get you to click on the post?! I do apologise… but did it work??? I just wanted to teach everyone a lesson, don’t always fall for headlines and also to a degree, take what I say with a pinch of salt ha!

Now I guess this week is more aimed at the ladies but guys read on so that you may come to understand the pain and suffering that some of us bigger thigh-ed ladies have to go through. Week 6 is now going to be one of those remembering episodes, like in F.R.I.E.N.D.S “the one with the flashback.” Let me transport you to March last year when Craig and I ventured to Rome to watch Scotland v Italy. We had a lovely first day there where the weather was good, not too hot so opted for a t-shirt and jeans. We ended up walking nearly 15km round the city and it turns out the not-so-fit Karen found this quite taxing and perspired a wee bit in the thigh region. Now, mix that in with thighs that rub together anyway and it meant for an uncomfortable evening. Being in Rome and eating pizza and drinking wine obviously helped, but getting back to the air b’n’b afterwards and changing revealed the extent of the damage. Essentially I had to keep the thighs from meeting for the whole rest of the trip! Not an easy task…

It was genuinely quite sore… but the story doesn’t end there. So as I said I had to do some damage control and the only thing I could think of was to wear a pair of Craig’s boxers under my jeans as a buffer. This was a great idea until he ran out of clean boxers!!!! WHO ONLY TAKES THE EXACT AMOUNT OF UNDERWEAR YOU NEED?! It’s always X + 3 where X = number of days away. ALWAYS!!!!

So, luckily he had brought along a pair of under armour trouser type things and they just about fitted under my jeans without making me look like the Michelin man. On we went to Berlin where it was quite chilly so luckily I didn’t look too out of place with the extra layer. 

It was also a new experience having to queue at Primark so I could buy new boxers for Craig as he’d run out! Who knew there were so many different types!

Anyways the story goes on. So the under trousers were quite thick and my thighs hadn’t gotten any smaller, so were still creating the same amount of rubbage.. this just meant that I was generating my own electricity and the poor people that got in any lifts after me or that I happened to brush passed definitely got a shock. Poor innocent Berlin-ers.

We went on an amazing wee tour where we got to drive Trabants round the city – it was honestly brilliant so if you ever go to Berlin please look up a Trabbi tour – cool eh?!

Don’t worry folks, we’re getting there now. 

So after the tour I had to nip to the loo and I’m not sure exactly how to word what happened next really. I’m still scarred by the memories….. But I pulled my jeans down and then the under trousers…. and some skin came with them!!!! (insert shock face emoji)

Off I trundled to the pharmacy to buy some big plaster pad type things and then, then came the kicker, I had to PAY to go to the toilet to perform some first aid on my big fat thighs!!!

Anyway, I got myself sorted, still kept the under trousers on and managed to give the toilet attendant a shock when I handed over my euros – win!

For the next 2 weeks I had to wear cycling shorts to work – under my trousers obviously… I’d get the sack for that kind of exposure!

The morale of the story? Well there are a few I suppose…

BOYS – Always take more boxers than you need, you never know when someone might need them

GIRLS – if you have the same affliction as myself, some sort of cycling shorts or leggings in the suitcase is a great idea

AND I’m not ashamed of the chub rub, it’s just the associated pain that is slightly annoying.

Embrace your body yes, just be prepared for the consequences!

There endeth the lesson

After last week mentioning audiobooks, I can’t believe I forgot to tell you all about Cherringham! A great wee ‘cosy crime series’ on Spotify that you can listen to for free! Or advert free if you pay a subscription of course. Please give it a listen and let me know what you think.

Top Tip of the Week

Get some of these and leave one in your house and one in your car for receipts. How many times do you need to return something and don’t have a receipt or they just make the place look untidy because they sitting about??

Just me??

Well done you organised lot. These are going to revolutionise my life. Notice I didn’t make the heading “Karen’t Top Tip of the Week,” that’s because this little gem came from Clare Jordan. Nice one. 

You can click on the picture to take you to amazon and have a look

Right, so, think that’s enough from me for now! 

Has anyone ever experienced such a chub rub nightmare? The struggle is real!!!

Oh and PS ladies, you know that advert that everyone sees on Facebook where they have the under shorts with attached bodice that has a non-slip strip at the top to stop the roll? I bought one, it’s amazing and genuinely works! Well….. it does if you aren’t 5 foot flip all…. so be aware shorties that if your dress is on the short side you may need to do a couple of roll ups!! I’ll leave you with that.

Have a great week everyone

Karen

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